Doing it alone

[metoo]

Just made the decision to start treatment after many years of denial and shame. I don't want anyone to know, especially my family as they will worry. I live alone and tend to be somewhat of a loner by nature. Independent is an understatement. I want to be free of this malaise.  I am strong and capable so have no doubt that I can do it. But scared. Already have hot/cold spells, mood swings, difficulty sleeping - it's called menopause. Also live in small town where gossip is news and people care about each other. Lots of friends but few confidants.

I've been reading some of the posts tonight and feel encouraged. Thanks.

[Toucan]

Hi Metoo, welcome to the group. I don't have any advise about treatment alone or otherwide as I haven't started treatment yet. But I do know you don't have to be alone with this group to support you!

[greyrocker]

Welcome, metoo. Congratulations on making the decision to treat. May your sword be sharp and your aim accurate.

We're here for you; settle in, ask questions and be a part of the best support site around.

greyrocker

[greginky]

Hi Meetoo. 
   I did it alone. It can be done. It isn't much fun. I can't really say alone. I had the people here, and a few I talked to on the phone which helped. If you need to talk then let me know. I do what I can to help others.

Greg

[sweet sue]

Metoo,

You aren't alone as the others have said. We are all here for you.  The first thing you need to get through is the denial and shame. Focus on killing that beast that is in you. We're all here for you so you are no longer alone. Share all of your fears, feelings and questions. It will help you through this.

sweet sue 

[keith]

Welcome to our cyber family metoo. First let me say, throw the shame out the window, not everyone has the virus from a past life style. TX will be much easier without that monkey on your back. Dig your heels in and sharpen your sword and we will all help you get through this, just stay positive
PS... you have lots of friends here!   Keith

[tex23]

 Hi metoo. Small towns can be a bummer when trying to be private. But soon, I can assure you 'how I got it' will not be an issue. Put your energy into crushing the dragon and you will be fine. Take care

[rjs]

Hey metoo,

Also a small town girl, let's just say we have one four way stop in my home town. I totally get it.  My husband and I separated right before treatment and it can be very lonely without someone.  I have found out though that I am never alone, everyone on this site is now part of my extended family.  They have picked me up and carried me through all of this one day at a time.  So welcome to the family.

I did not tell anyone in the beginning but as time has passed by I have.  What I found is that everyone has been very supportive once I educate them a bit.  It does not matter how you got this, no one willing says I want Hep C and no one should go through treatment alone.

I am also one of those strong independent types.  I have never "needed" anyone.   Needing someone was showing weakness and I was taught to be a survivor.  It took a lot for me to even come to this site.  I am here now and am very grateful so post away and we will walk with you through this.

rjs

[lynn]

Hi Meeto. I did it, you can do it. I had lots of side effects and it was tough but it can be done. Just remember for every side effect there is something you can do to try to counteract it. We are with you all the way..

[banarep]

I did my first round alone.  It was okay.  I might suggest you try to find one person you can confide in that is an acutual person near you.  You may never need them, but it is nice knowing that there is someone near that can help if you need them.

I have done three rounds of treatment and the last two were much better with help from my wife and son.

having said all that, we are here and it can be done alone.

[pixie]

Just made the decision to start treatment after many years of denial and shame. I don't want anyone to know, especially my family as they will worry. I live alone and tend to be somewhat of a loner by nature. Independent is an understatement. I want to be free of this malaise.  I am strong and capable so have no doubt that I can do it. But scared. Already have hot/cold spells, mood swings, difficulty sleeping - it's called menopause. Also live in small town where gossip is news and people care about each other. Lots of friends but few confidants.

I've been reading some of the posts tonight and feel encouraged. Thanks.

I have no problem with you doing it alone, but would like to suggest you keep the forum close and confide in people that do understand...Hope your doing ok so far?.....Px

[alice]

Hi Metoo,

I'm really glad you found us. You aren't alone here because we all understand about having HCV and we don't care one bit about how you got this disease. It really just doesn't matter. We've got it and now we have to deal with it.

Regarding doing tx alone... I hope you can see that there is a good and bad side to everything. I am also extremely independent and stubborn (the cut off my nose to spite my face kind of indepependent and stubborn, which is a fault of mine). I just finished a very long, very miserable tx and, oh boy, I hope this doesn't come out the wrong way...

I can't tell you how many times I wished I lived alone while on tx because tx isn't just hard on the patient, it's hard on everyone around us. I just couldn't stand constantly watching my family worry, especially my kids and my Dad. I hate being a burden. I hated changing from being the provider to being the blob that rarely contributed. My marriage really suffered. I liked the days when I felt good enough to get out of the house because then I could reassure everyone that everything was OK, and that made ME feel better (how selfish!  ).

However--big however, I was not alone. In addition to my family and friends around me, I made even more friends here on this support group, and I'll be darned if they didn't worry about me, too! So even if you live alone, you aren't alone. You have us. I hope you are comfortable asking us for support because we like to give it-- it helps us feel better!

Take care, Metoo, and come back often. You are welcome here.
alice

[Believer]

Welcome Metoo,
I can completely relate to everything you are feeling at this point.  The anticipation of waiting to start the treatment and not knowing how we will react to the meds can be such a burden.
I know that I felt "better" once I started and knew that each day was one more closer to the end of the journey.
I lived alone for my treatment and looking back, I'm glad I did.  The only time I had to wear my "game face" was at work but then I got to come home to and quiet, to surrender another day without the pressures of nurturing a relationship or having to explain the aches of the day. 
Having said this, I stayed very close to my cyber friends and had a small support group who made sure that my needs were met.
I hope you find a confidant to share with and otherwise, please allow yourself to surrender to your feelings and let the wonderful folks on this site walk with you through your treatment.
Take good care.

Believer

[Crystal]

Metoo...ME TOO ! I was ashamed. felt like a leper. My sweetheart & kids knew, some close friends, too. But I carried my secret for 3 yrs. I am 4 weeks in treatment, it is doable. I too am from small town. I really came out of my shell with this group. I am no longer ashamed ! We are many. This is family here, AND you can still be a loner. When you get tired of us it's easy to get away, just shut us off We ARE ALL here for whatever you need...just type away Stay positive and strong !


By the way, I'm a crazy half breed( Cherokee, that is) AND...
...I live with an alien !
HMMM...wonder what are kids would be ?

Welcome Friend

[Justme]

I have happened on this thread and hope it can help as well as some of the other threads or maybe chats.  I see that there are a variety of "takes" on what "alone" is.  Some people view it as being without a partner, some view it as being without collateral family members.  What if you have lived a lifestyle in which there is no partner, no friend and no family member that you can inform and be assured of some degree of support?  My additional problem is that I am a member of a profession that does not well tolerate mental "off" days.  My family is estranged and I do not nor have ever had a partner or children.  Others are deceased.  I am waiting for treatment in the hopes that it will be less gruesome so that I can continue to work with full control of my faculties.  With 1a I want to hedge my bets so to speak and I am hoping for this new med to get on the market.   Telling my clients or other professionals that I am in treatment for HepC is not an option.  But what if I can't concentrate?  What if I lose my hair?  What if I get sick to my stomach in the middle of a client session?  And what about not even being able to get a ride to biopsy?